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I wanted to circle around, get behind her again, to watch her, wanting to study her more, engrain her in my mind, but I didn't want to risk it. I had already interacted with her more than was necessary. I left my cart by a freezer full of rancid meat and left the store. I got into my car and moved to a parking space near the front, so I could watch her leave the store and then follow her home.As I sat in my car, my eyes on the automatic doors, I started to wonder why I was so fascinated with this woman. It wasn't just her beauty. The others had all been beautiful. Each had struck me in her own different way, igniting some dormant passion inside me, awakening those urges, primal and raw. But with this woman it had been like a thunderbolt. And as I had watched her walking through the grocery store, minding her children, inspecting the foods on the shelves, seeming so ordinary, my passion seemed to treble, seeing that she didn't even know the power that she possessed. She was oblivious,. I hesitated. I had been prepared to invite myself in and have a shower with the team, maybe even a little towel-snapping, maybe a little orgy. On second thought, I turned and walked quickly around to the girls' room on the other side. I had made some headway today and I was not prepared to mess it up with an ill-conceived stunt. As long as I was exercising, it seemed appropriate to exercise restraint as well; as unusual as that was for me.It was a lonely walk to the other side of the gym. I consoled myself with the memory of looks I had received that told me that a couple of the team now had doubts about their opinions on girls and their places in the world.As I stood under the shower, I thought about what I had hoped to accomplish by going into the weight room and trying to be one of the guys. It became more important than ever for me to succeed. These were some of the most respected, popular, and well-known guys at school. If I could show them that girls were just guys with.
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